Yesterday I was invited to two simchos. One was a kiddush for the bar mitzvah of a cousin and the second was an aufruf for my friend's son. Since I wanted to catch the Torah Leining of the bar mitzvah boy, I decided to daven at my cousin's shul. After davening, I was invited to the host's house for a kiddush. There, I met cousins from America whom I hadn't seen in years. With all the catching up, the time flew by and I had promised my husband I would return home for lunch at a specific hour. I made my way home, disappointed that it was too late to wish mazal tov to my friend whose shul was about a 20 minute walk.
I resolved to call my friend to explain my absence but she beat me to it. This morning I received a call from her. She told me that she missed my presence and I explained to her the circumstances of my no show. She was understanding and we wished each other continued simchos.
I was so impressed that my friend did not stand on ceremony or become upset with me. Many people wouldn't have bothered to inquire and would have become angry but my friend taught me that making a phone call is a small endeavor to keep a friendship from collapsing.
Sunday, 30 October 2011
Sunday, 4 September 2011
Hospitality
A friend of mine from Europe celebrated her son's wedding in New York recently. She told me about the hospitality of her mechutonim. She and her family were put up in a gemach house in the neighborhood. When she arrived, the fridge was stocked with all the food that she and her large family could possibly need.
Another friend contributed to the conversation by talking about how she had been hosted by a family many years ago. When she arrived after a long car journey with her two toddlers, there was not even a cup of water to be had. Her husband had to go out in the middle of the night to search for basic staples for the family.
She told me that her sister will be making a bar mitzvah soon and she had been calling various people in the neighborhood to host various members of her family. Some people answered in the affirmative provided that they wouldn't have to serve food to their guests.
My brother made a simcha in the height of the summer. Some members of the family were hosted by a neighbor who provided them a room in the attic without any air conditioning. Needless to say, the guests spent a sleepless Friday night in unbearable heat.
So, those who accept hosting guests, do it in a fashion where you make the guests feel welcome and comfortable. If not, just say no.
Another friend contributed to the conversation by talking about how she had been hosted by a family many years ago. When she arrived after a long car journey with her two toddlers, there was not even a cup of water to be had. Her husband had to go out in the middle of the night to search for basic staples for the family.
She told me that her sister will be making a bar mitzvah soon and she had been calling various people in the neighborhood to host various members of her family. Some people answered in the affirmative provided that they wouldn't have to serve food to their guests.
My brother made a simcha in the height of the summer. Some members of the family were hosted by a neighbor who provided them a room in the attic without any air conditioning. Needless to say, the guests spent a sleepless Friday night in unbearable heat.
So, those who accept hosting guests, do it in a fashion where you make the guests feel welcome and comfortable. If not, just say no.
Monday, 1 August 2011
A prayer for Israel
Palestinian officials say they plan to begin mass marches against Israel’s occupation of the West Bank on Sept. 20, the eve of a laregly symbolic U.N. vote expected to recognize their independence.
Read full article: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/palestinians-announce-massive-protests-against-israel-in-september/
One commenter posted the following.
Remember August is the month of Ramadan – so they are gearing up to againt Israel in September. :) Also, I keep seeing tweets about something coming down between Iran and Israel in September – and keep your eyes on Turkey guys and gals :) That is a key player.
So, what do we do when we read the above? How many take out a sefer Tehillim and pray for Israel's welfare? And how many continue to click on the next website?
Read full article: http://www.theblaze.com/stories/palestinians-announce-massive-protests-against-israel-in-september/
One commenter posted the following.
Remember August is the month of Ramadan – so they are gearing up to againt Israel in September. :) Also, I keep seeing tweets about something coming down between Iran and Israel in September – and keep your eyes on Turkey guys and gals :) That is a key player.
So, what do we do when we read the above? How many take out a sefer Tehillim and pray for Israel's welfare? And how many continue to click on the next website?
Thursday, 30 June 2011
Sharing emotions
In a letter to the editor of the Mishpacha magazine, a reader wrote the following which caught my attention.
Another thought, shared by a friend of mine who underwent a major tzaar. At the time of his suffering, he was inundated with visitors and mechanchim, who came en masse, many from far away, to sit with him and comfort him. He appreciated the outpouring of nesia b'ol and how each one took the time and effort to really participate and feel his pain.
Some time later, he merited making a simcha and again, many people came. "But this time," he told me, "I felt like their hearts weren't in it. They were coming to be yotzei, not to share in my emotions.
May we merit to share many happy occasions with friends and share their joy with heartfelt emotion.
Another thought, shared by a friend of mine who underwent a major tzaar. At the time of his suffering, he was inundated with visitors and mechanchim, who came en masse, many from far away, to sit with him and comfort him. He appreciated the outpouring of nesia b'ol and how each one took the time and effort to really participate and feel his pain.
Some time later, he merited making a simcha and again, many people came. "But this time," he told me, "I felt like their hearts weren't in it. They were coming to be yotzei, not to share in my emotions.
May we merit to share many happy occasions with friends and share their joy with heartfelt emotion.
Thursday, 23 June 2011
Not a scandal
Scandals sell newspapers, so we are saturated with article after article about sleazy politicians, financial wrongdoings and the like. When a story breaks which will shed a negative light on a person's reputation, the incident is reported worldwide.
But, when there is a story that portays people in a favorable manner, few pick up on the article and publish it.
Last night I read an article at the Lakewood Scoop about a very honest storekeper. So far, I haven't seen anyone else pick up on the story. So, in case you missed it, click here to read a story not laden with scandal, but with principles of honesty that we should strive to emulate.
But, when there is a story that portays people in a favorable manner, few pick up on the article and publish it.
Last night I read an article at the Lakewood Scoop about a very honest storekeper. So far, I haven't seen anyone else pick up on the story. So, in case you missed it, click here to read a story not laden with scandal, but with principles of honesty that we should strive to emulate.
Monday, 13 June 2011
Gratitude
Sara Yoheved Rigler has an article about gratitude on Aish.com which is worthwhile reading.
A couple of months ago, a a mother of two boys approached me to ask if I would tutor her young sons for an English test that they were taking in the beginning of June. In the end, I lent them two grammar books which have yet to be returned.
The family lives across the street from me. I bumped into the mother last week and asked if her children had taken the test. She replied in the affirmative.
"I would love to know what type of questions were asked on the test," I told the woman." Knowing that the boys had a busy school schedule, I asked when I could call them. She said that I could call in the afternoon, since it was Friday and they would be finishing school early.
I called a few hours later and the mother told me her boys were sleeping but she would have them call me. I reminded her that my books were still in her possession and she told me that her sons would return them.
Friday passed with no call or return of the books. Now it is Monday and I still haven't heard from them. I can assure you that when they needed the books, they were at my door at the first available moment.
Let's take more care in returning items in a timely fashion. Let's show gratitude for the favor bestowed upon us. Let me be dan lechaf zechut.
In a similar vein, when someone calls with a suggestion for a shidduch, if you decide that it is not appopriate, at least have the courtesy to call back the person who suggested the idea, thank them and let them know that you aren't interested, for the moment.
A couple of months ago, a a mother of two boys approached me to ask if I would tutor her young sons for an English test that they were taking in the beginning of June. In the end, I lent them two grammar books which have yet to be returned.
The family lives across the street from me. I bumped into the mother last week and asked if her children had taken the test. She replied in the affirmative.
"I would love to know what type of questions were asked on the test," I told the woman." Knowing that the boys had a busy school schedule, I asked when I could call them. She said that I could call in the afternoon, since it was Friday and they would be finishing school early.
I called a few hours later and the mother told me her boys were sleeping but she would have them call me. I reminded her that my books were still in her possession and she told me that her sons would return them.
Friday passed with no call or return of the books. Now it is Monday and I still haven't heard from them. I can assure you that when they needed the books, they were at my door at the first available moment.
Let's take more care in returning items in a timely fashion. Let's show gratitude for the favor bestowed upon us. Let me be dan lechaf zechut.
In a similar vein, when someone calls with a suggestion for a shidduch, if you decide that it is not appopriate, at least have the courtesy to call back the person who suggested the idea, thank them and let them know that you aren't interested, for the moment.
Thursday, 26 May 2011
The good news
A little while ago, I attended a tea in support of an Israeli institution for young women. I approached the principal of the school who was the guest speaker at the event. I asked her for a blessing for a member of the family who was undergoing some medical tests. She calmed me down with her encouraging words and told me that I should promise to donate to her institution when I hear good news. She showered me with blessings and I felt relieved and more at peace.
Today I found out that the results of the test were very reassuring and there was no need for any medical intervention. I was very excited and remembered to call the prinicpal with the good news.
She told me, "I give blessings to many people but so few people call me to report back to me when there is good news. You are special."
Let's remember to call the person whom we burdened with our worries if our problem gets resolved. We thought enough of them to confess our anxieties to them and listen as we tearfully spoke to them when things weren't going well in our lives. Let's think enough of them to impart good news, as well.
Today I found out that the results of the test were very reassuring and there was no need for any medical intervention. I was very excited and remembered to call the prinicpal with the good news.
She told me, "I give blessings to many people but so few people call me to report back to me when there is good news. You are special."
Let's remember to call the person whom we burdened with our worries if our problem gets resolved. We thought enough of them to confess our anxieties to them and listen as we tearfully spoke to them when things weren't going well in our lives. Let's think enough of them to impart good news, as well.
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