A friend of mine from Europe celebrated her son's wedding in New York recently. She told me about the hospitality of her mechutonim. She and her family were put up in a gemach house in the neighborhood. When she arrived, the fridge was stocked with all the food that she and her large family could possibly need.
Another friend contributed to the conversation by talking about how she had been hosted by a family many years ago. When she arrived after a long car journey with her two toddlers, there was not even a cup of water to be had. Her husband had to go out in the middle of the night to search for basic staples for the family.
She told me that her sister will be making a bar mitzvah soon and she had been calling various people in the neighborhood to host various members of her family. Some people answered in the affirmative provided that they wouldn't have to serve food to their guests.
My brother made a simcha in the height of the summer. Some members of the family were hosted by a neighbor who provided them a room in the attic without any air conditioning. Needless to say, the guests spent a sleepless Friday night in unbearable heat.
So, those who accept hosting guests, do it in a fashion where you make the guests feel welcome and comfortable. If not, just say no.
