Entitlement

A retired British naval officer’s scathing email to his three adult children about his bitter and frustrating disappointment in all of them has gone viral with its eloquence and biting honesty.

Nick Crews, 67, of Plymouth, England, sent the letter to his two daughters and son to express his deep disappointment in them and their life choices.

“We are constantly regaled with chapter and verse of the happy, successful lives of the families of our friends and relatives and being asked of news of our own children and grandchildren,” Crews wrote. “I wonder if you realise [sic] how we feel — we have nothing to say which reflects any credit on you or us.”
Continue reading: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/11/bitterly-disappointed-dads-email-to-children-goes-viral/

A reader at Aish asks Emunah where she went wrong after she hosted her children for three weeks, due to Hurricane Sandy, whereupon they returned to their apartment without a word of thanks.

Dear Despairing Mom,

This seems to be my week for frustrated and discouraged parents. First, read my response to the previous writer. Second, while I can’t provide an excuse for the behavior, I think I can offer an explanation. I think their behavior is reflective of their generation. It is an age of entitlement. I know I’m echoing many articles on the subject but there is a reason for all those essays! Our children expect to be taken care of, to be supported in all respects. They see it as their due.
Continue reading: http://www.aish.com/ci/de/Dear-Emuna-Second-Chance-Mom.html

I'm John Smith

Dear Abby responds to a teacher who needs advice when a former student approaches and asks,  "You don't remember me, do you?"  DEAR STRUGGLING: When someone approaches you and says, "You don't remember me, do you?" an appropriate response would be, "Refresh my memory!" Said with a smile, it shouldn't be offensive.

This potentially embarrassing problem can easily be avoided if the former student simply says, "Mrs. Jones, it's so nice to see you. I'm 'John Smith' and you were my teacher in 1991."

http://news.yahoo.com/teacher-needs-cheat-sheet-recall-former-students-050102007.html

Perhaps we can take a lesson from the above advice and not put people on the spot by asking them to remember someone from many years ago.

The library

A friend of mine volunteers at a neighborhood library which lends books with Jewish themes. She told me that she was assigned the task last week to phone people who had been negligent in returning books. Some had the books in their possession for two years. One woman paid a hefty fine which cost more than the book itself. Another woman claimed that her child had returned the book.
One time I was asked by the librarian to help her compose the words to a sticker which would be place on the first page of the book, admonishing people not to eat while reading the book becausee some of the books had been returned with food stains.
Does anyone have abook that they haven't returned? Why not bring it back TODAY!!!!

Download the internet asifa booklet

The Lakewood Scoop has a link where you can download the booklet which was supposed to be distributed at the Citi Field event. Click here to download and to see full video of the internet asifa.

Satisfied with his lot

For years, Gac Filipaj mopped floors, cleaned toilets and took out trash at Columbia University.

A refugee from war-torn Yugoslavia, he eked out a living working for the Ivy League school. But Sunday was payback time: The 52-year-old janitor donned a cap and gown to graduate with a bachelor's degree in classics.

...He's not interested in furthering his studies to make more money.

"The richness is in me, in my heart and in my head, not in my pockets," said Filipaj, who is now an American citizen.

http://news.yahoo.com/ivy-league-school-janitor-graduates-honors-182936684.html

" AND AVRAHAM BREATHED HIS LAST, AND DIED AT A GOOD AGE, OLD AND SATISFIED, AND HE WAS GATHERED UNTO HIS NATION.. . (Bereishis 25:8)"

The Ramban comments that when the Torah speaks here of Avrohom Avinu's satisfied life, it means to teach us two things: 1] The kindness of Hashem in that He bestows upon the Tzadikim a life of satisfaction; and 2] That the Tzadikim possess the mida tova, the fine character trait of being satisfied with what they have. They are not plagued and tormented by temptations for luxuries, and unnecessary indulgences, which would make it impossible for them to ever be satisfied. This is unlike those who are not righteous, who are constantly dissatisfied and unhappy, and are never gratified, for they are constantly being driven by a desire to attain more, as Chazal say (Koheles Rabbah 1:34), "If he possesses one hundred he desires two hundred, if he possesses two hundred he desires four hundred.¹"

Read full article: http://yeshivakessertorah.org/written/5-Chayei-sara.html 

Pesach accommodations

Yes, I know you want to go to your parents for Pesach. After all, why should a young couple pass up free babysitting services, not to mention not having to cook and clean the apartment for Pesach?
But, before you make the call requesting (demanding) to be invited for the holiday, you and your husband should ask yourselves whether your parents have the wherewithal to host an extra number of people. Do they have the room to house the additional guests? Are you adding too much pressure on your aging parents?
If you do end up at your parents, do be considerate and don't think of it as a vacation where your mother will act as chambermaid, babysitter, master chef, etc. Do give her a hand, clean up after the children and make yourself useful. Your mother cleaned up after you when you were young. Now it's your turn to take care of your children. BE CONSIDERATE and have an enjoyable Pesach.

Bikur Cholim

I came across this thought about Bikur Cholim at Revach.

The Rosh in Parshas Vayeira says that if you visit a sick person who is sleeping, you still have the mitzva of Bikur Cholim because when he wakes up they will tell the sick person that you visited and he will feel good. What about someone who is in a coma? Is there a mitzva to visit them?
The gemara implies that the mitzva of bikur cholim is to take care of the sick person's needs. If there is something you can do for the comatose patient, says Rav Chaim Kanievsky, you certainly have performed the mitzva. The Shita of the Rambam is that the mitzva is to daven for a sick person's recovery. Rav Chaim says that if your visit will cause you to daven, this may be part of the mitzva and you should go visit.

Important Note: We try to convey the Tshuva to the best of our ability. We admit that our understanding may not be accurate. Please also understand that this Tshuva may not be the final word on this topic. One should consult a Rav before drawing any conclusions.
http://www.revach.net/halacha/tshuvos/Rav-Chaim-Kanievsky-Is-There-a-Mitzva-of-Bikur-Cholim-To-Visit-Someone-Lying-in-a-Coma/1301

This reminded me of a visit I paid to an old woman in the hospital. There is an organization in my neighborhood which coordinates hospital and home visits to the sick and elderly.

One evening I received a call and the woman at the other end of the line asked me if I would visit a woman in a hospital nearby. I acquiesced and found myself at the bedside of a woman who showed no signs of recognition. I spoke to her for a few minutes but got no response. As I left, I couldn't help wondering whether I had accomplished anything. But then I thought to myself that the nurse had seen me entering and leaving the woman's room. As long as they were aware that the woman was receiving visitors, they would not neglect her.