Satisfied with his lot

For years, Gac Filipaj mopped floors, cleaned toilets and took out trash at Columbia University.

A refugee from war-torn Yugoslavia, he eked out a living working for the Ivy League school. But Sunday was payback time: The 52-year-old janitor donned a cap and gown to graduate with a bachelor's degree in classics.

...He's not interested in furthering his studies to make more money.

"The richness is in me, in my heart and in my head, not in my pockets," said Filipaj, who is now an American citizen.

http://news.yahoo.com/ivy-league-school-janitor-graduates-honors-182936684.html

" AND AVRAHAM BREATHED HIS LAST, AND DIED AT A GOOD AGE, OLD AND SATISFIED, AND HE WAS GATHERED UNTO HIS NATION.. . (Bereishis 25:8)"

The Ramban comments that when the Torah speaks here of Avrohom Avinu's satisfied life, it means to teach us two things: 1] The kindness of Hashem in that He bestows upon the Tzadikim a life of satisfaction; and 2] That the Tzadikim possess the mida tova, the fine character trait of being satisfied with what they have. They are not plagued and tormented by temptations for luxuries, and unnecessary indulgences, which would make it impossible for them to ever be satisfied. This is unlike those who are not righteous, who are constantly dissatisfied and unhappy, and are never gratified, for they are constantly being driven by a desire to attain more, as Chazal say (Koheles Rabbah 1:34), "If he possesses one hundred he desires two hundred, if he possesses two hundred he desires four hundred.¹"

Read full article: http://yeshivakessertorah.org/written/5-Chayei-sara.html 

Pesach accommodations

Yes, I know you want to go to your parents for Pesach. After all, why should a young couple pass up free babysitting services, not to mention not having to cook and clean the apartment for Pesach?
But, before you make the call requesting (demanding) to be invited for the holiday, you and your husband should ask yourselves whether your parents have the wherewithal to host an extra number of people. Do they have the room to house the additional guests? Are you adding too much pressure on your aging parents?
If you do end up at your parents, do be considerate and don't think of it as a vacation where your mother will act as chambermaid, babysitter, master chef, etc. Do give her a hand, clean up after the children and make yourself useful. Your mother cleaned up after you when you were young. Now it's your turn to take care of your children. BE CONSIDERATE and have an enjoyable Pesach.

Bikur Cholim

I came across this thought about Bikur Cholim at Revach.

The Rosh in Parshas Vayeira says that if you visit a sick person who is sleeping, you still have the mitzva of Bikur Cholim because when he wakes up they will tell the sick person that you visited and he will feel good. What about someone who is in a coma? Is there a mitzva to visit them?
The gemara implies that the mitzva of bikur cholim is to take care of the sick person's needs. If there is something you can do for the comatose patient, says Rav Chaim Kanievsky, you certainly have performed the mitzva. The Shita of the Rambam is that the mitzva is to daven for a sick person's recovery. Rav Chaim says that if your visit will cause you to daven, this may be part of the mitzva and you should go visit.

Important Note: We try to convey the Tshuva to the best of our ability. We admit that our understanding may not be accurate. Please also understand that this Tshuva may not be the final word on this topic. One should consult a Rav before drawing any conclusions.
http://www.revach.net/halacha/tshuvos/Rav-Chaim-Kanievsky-Is-There-a-Mitzva-of-Bikur-Cholim-To-Visit-Someone-Lying-in-a-Coma/1301

This reminded me of a visit I paid to an old woman in the hospital. There is an organization in my neighborhood which coordinates hospital and home visits to the sick and elderly.

One evening I received a call and the woman at the other end of the line asked me if I would visit a woman in a hospital nearby. I acquiesced and found myself at the bedside of a woman who showed no signs of recognition. I spoke to her for a few minutes but got no response. As I left, I couldn't help wondering whether I had accomplished anything. But then I thought to myself that the nurse had seen me entering and leaving the woman's room. As long as they were aware that the woman was receiving visitors, they would not neglect her.

The lights of the candles

Last week I attended a shiur where the rabbi spoke about the fact that if one has only enough money to kindle the Shabbat lights or the Chanukah lights, the Shabbat lights take precedence as they bring shalom bayit - marital harmony - to the home. He explained that at the beginning of the Sabbath, the wicks of the candles are separate, but, at the end of the Sabbath, the wicks are intertwined.
May we merit shalom bayit in our households and the parnassah not to have to make a choice between the Shabbat candles and the Chanukah lights.

Strengthening ourselves

YeranenYaakov has a post titled Rav Shteinman: There is a Decree in Shamayim to Destroy the Jews - We Must Strengthen Ourselves to Cancel It.

TomerDevorah writes "We've Lost Our Kedusha."

Isn't it time to wake up?

The phone call

Yesterday I was invited to two simchos. One was a kiddush for the bar mitzvah of a cousin and the second was an aufruf for my friend's son. Since I wanted to catch the Torah Leining of the bar mitzvah boy, I decided to daven at my cousin's shul. After davening, I was invited to the host's house for a kiddush. There, I met cousins from America whom I hadn't seen in years. With all the catching up, the time flew by and I had promised my husband I would return home for lunch at a specific hour. I made my way home, disappointed that it was too late to wish mazal tov to my friend whose shul was about a 20 minute walk.
I resolved to call my friend to explain my absence but she beat me to it. This morning I received a call from her. She told me that she missed my presence and I explained to her the circumstances of my no show. She was understanding and we wished each other continued simchos.
I was so impressed that my friend did not stand on ceremony or become upset with me. Many people wouldn't have bothered to inquire and would have become angry but my friend taught me that making a phone call is a small endeavor to keep a friendship from collapsing.

Hospitality

A friend of mine from Europe celebrated her son's wedding in New York recently. She told me about the hospitality of her mechutonim. She and her family were put up in a gemach house in the neighborhood. When she arrived, the fridge was stocked with all the food that she and her large family could possibly need.
Another friend contributed to the conversation by talking about how she had been hosted by a family many years ago. When she arrived after a long car journey with her two toddlers, there was not even a cup of water to be had. Her husband had to go out in the middle of the night to search for basic staples for the family.
She told me that her sister will be making a bar mitzvah soon and she had been calling various people in the neighborhood to host various members of her family. Some people answered in the affirmative provided that they wouldn't have to serve food to their guests.
My brother made a simcha in the height of the summer. Some members of the family were hosted by a neighbor who provided them a room in the attic without any air conditioning. Needless to say, the guests spent a sleepless Friday night in unbearable heat.
So, those who accept hosting guests, do it in a fashion where you make the guests feel welcome and comfortable. If not, just say no.