Proper etiquette

Shelley Emling writes about 4 Social Faux Pas No One Over 50 Should Still Be Making.

1. Being an unclear guest. You are invited to a party and forget to respond. Or your daughter is invited to a birthday party and you RSVP the day before. Or you plan to visit friends for a weekend but never tell them exactly when you'll show up and leave. This is not only thoughtless, but it's unnecessary. If you don't get back to a host about a party right away, he or she may think you're holding out for a better invitation. And that's just not nice. Respond promptly. Be clear as to when you're going to arrive at someone's house. If you really aren't sure you will be able to make an event, simply tell it like it is. And don't be late without a good reason. It's just not nice!
Continue reading: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shelley-emling/proper-etiquette-social-faux-pas_b_3268367.html

Invitation and response

This morning I emailed a positive response to an invitation to a bar mitzvah. I couldn't help but remeber the last time this family made another bar mitzvah. I had met the father of the soon to be bar mitzvah boy on the street and I thanked him for the invitation and told him we would love to attend. He told me, "Do me a favor. I might not recall that we had this conversation so, can you please email me your repsonse, as well. This way, I have a written reminder of who responded in the affirmative.
I resolved to answer all future invitations in written form from then on.

Entitlement

A retired British naval officer’s scathing email to his three adult children about his bitter and frustrating disappointment in all of them has gone viral with its eloquence and biting honesty.

Nick Crews, 67, of Plymouth, England, sent the letter to his two daughters and son to express his deep disappointment in them and their life choices.

“We are constantly regaled with chapter and verse of the happy, successful lives of the families of our friends and relatives and being asked of news of our own children and grandchildren,” Crews wrote. “I wonder if you realise [sic] how we feel — we have nothing to say which reflects any credit on you or us.”
Continue reading: http://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/11/bitterly-disappointed-dads-email-to-children-goes-viral/

A reader at Aish asks Emunah where she went wrong after she hosted her children for three weeks, due to Hurricane Sandy, whereupon they returned to their apartment without a word of thanks.

Dear Despairing Mom,

This seems to be my week for frustrated and discouraged parents. First, read my response to the previous writer. Second, while I can’t provide an excuse for the behavior, I think I can offer an explanation. I think their behavior is reflective of their generation. It is an age of entitlement. I know I’m echoing many articles on the subject but there is a reason for all those essays! Our children expect to be taken care of, to be supported in all respects. They see it as their due.
Continue reading: http://www.aish.com/ci/de/Dear-Emuna-Second-Chance-Mom.html

I'm John Smith

Dear Abby responds to a teacher who needs advice when a former student approaches and asks,  "You don't remember me, do you?"  DEAR STRUGGLING: When someone approaches you and says, "You don't remember me, do you?" an appropriate response would be, "Refresh my memory!" Said with a smile, it shouldn't be offensive.

This potentially embarrassing problem can easily be avoided if the former student simply says, "Mrs. Jones, it's so nice to see you. I'm 'John Smith' and you were my teacher in 1991."

http://news.yahoo.com/teacher-needs-cheat-sheet-recall-former-students-050102007.html

Perhaps we can take a lesson from the above advice and not put people on the spot by asking them to remember someone from many years ago.

The library

A friend of mine volunteers at a neighborhood library which lends books with Jewish themes. She told me that she was assigned the task last week to phone people who had been negligent in returning books. Some had the books in their possession for two years. One woman paid a hefty fine which cost more than the book itself. Another woman claimed that her child had returned the book.
One time I was asked by the librarian to help her compose the words to a sticker which would be place on the first page of the book, admonishing people not to eat while reading the book becausee some of the books had been returned with food stains.
Does anyone have abook that they haven't returned? Why not bring it back TODAY!!!!

Download the internet asifa booklet

The Lakewood Scoop has a link where you can download the booklet which was supposed to be distributed at the Citi Field event. Click here to download and to see full video of the internet asifa.

Satisfied with his lot

For years, Gac Filipaj mopped floors, cleaned toilets and took out trash at Columbia University.

A refugee from war-torn Yugoslavia, he eked out a living working for the Ivy League school. But Sunday was payback time: The 52-year-old janitor donned a cap and gown to graduate with a bachelor's degree in classics.

...He's not interested in furthering his studies to make more money.

"The richness is in me, in my heart and in my head, not in my pockets," said Filipaj, who is now an American citizen.

http://news.yahoo.com/ivy-league-school-janitor-graduates-honors-182936684.html

" AND AVRAHAM BREATHED HIS LAST, AND DIED AT A GOOD AGE, OLD AND SATISFIED, AND HE WAS GATHERED UNTO HIS NATION.. . (Bereishis 25:8)"

The Ramban comments that when the Torah speaks here of Avrohom Avinu's satisfied life, it means to teach us two things: 1] The kindness of Hashem in that He bestows upon the Tzadikim a life of satisfaction; and 2] That the Tzadikim possess the mida tova, the fine character trait of being satisfied with what they have. They are not plagued and tormented by temptations for luxuries, and unnecessary indulgences, which would make it impossible for them to ever be satisfied. This is unlike those who are not righteous, who are constantly dissatisfied and unhappy, and are never gratified, for they are constantly being driven by a desire to attain more, as Chazal say (Koheles Rabbah 1:34), "If he possesses one hundred he desires two hundred, if he possesses two hundred he desires four hundred.¹"

Read full article: http://yeshivakessertorah.org/written/5-Chayei-sara.html